Our little Bubu has never really understood how to express her thoughts outside of crying or that adorable smile. In recent months it was a big deal when Sofie was able to communicate what she wanted. And for the past two months that communication was largely limited to waving her arm at you to go away. "Sofie want water?" *Arm wave and walks away with no eye contact. There was a brief window where my little Bubu said no and shook her head in disagreement. But this was truly a short period of time. The head shaking was replaced by the frustrated arm wave and we couldn't seem to shake her of the new habit. And that is why the little accomplishments of this week feel so immense and exciting.
We had been working with a few baby signs since sometime in September. She hated when I would make the sign for "more." She would yell and wave her arms. She seemed to hate being put on the spot with a dreaded lesson from mommy or daddy. It made teaching her new things very overwhelming. A big part of me thought that I might be doing it wrong. That idea of "it" was pretty expansive for me. It covered a long list of mommy-duties and the fact that my Bubu was so frustrated made me feel like it could be handled better by anyone but me.
The diagnosis refocussed me and Ozzy. Speaking for myself, I could see this wasn't about me. Bubu had a challenge and we need to take steps to help her move past the obstacles and embrace how unique she is. After taking some time to process it, I realize that autism isn't going to define her. She has so much to give this world that I can't imagine putting a limit on her. The reason I often refer to Sofie as "Bubu" in this blog is because of the long nickname we gave her- Bubulubu. It's a candybar in Mexico. It's insanely sweet. Imagine a candy company getting very carried away with trying to squeeze every sweet ingredient into one bar. The result (in my opinion) is a candybar that is just too sweet-and that is our Sofie, too sweet. I like reminding myself of that while I navigate my way through this time. She is still Bubulubu. Nothing has changed about that-we just have the tools to help give her a voice, now that we know what is going on.
One of the many tools we have is possibly the simplest-the diet change. Bubu has been gluten and dairy free for ten days. I know it's a controversial diet but all I can say is my little girl shakes her head "no" in response to a question. She shakes her head no when she is upset with you taking something from her. She didn't "speak" this clearly 11 days ago. A bigger accomplishment is that Sofie is using the sign for "more" correctly. She asks for more food with the gesture. She also uses this gesture when she wants something. It still shocks me when she comes over to me and makes eye contact and then quickly hits her hands together in two quick moves (sign for more). She is beginning to see that she can express herself. This is huge.
This morning Ozzy was leaving and Sofie shook her head no and then tugged on his pants. After pulling on him, she made the sign for more. Ozzy said he had to leave and she shook her head no and repeated the sign for more. She wanted more of daddy. Our Bubulubu is too sweet. We are so lucky.
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