Late Night Short Ramble

I just accidentally deleted the post I was working on. It's that kind of a day. Maybe it's for the best. Brevity might get the message across much better than the clutter of my brain on the keyboard. I really do picture it like I just dump the contents of my brain on the laptop. And these days most of that is centered on Sofie. I am having a hard time balancing things. I don't think the human brain is meant to think about something so often. And I don't mean Sofie, I am happy to have that little girl wander through my thoughts all hours of the day and night. It is the lingering questions that are draining me. I can't get off the idea that there is SOMETHING else I should be doing to help Sofie. Maybe one more exercise, therapy or vitamin that I missed would help her speak. It's stupid when I see it typed out like that. Perhaps that is why I blog, to see it written out and realize I am being way too hard on myself. Our daily routine doesn't really help squash the Autism 24/7 narrative. Sofie has therapy 3 times a week (hopefully 4 times sometime soon) and has homework to do when the therapists are not here. I have to remind myself I don't have to do the homework 12 hours a day. It's hard not to press for each moment with Sofie to be a teachable one. But maybe my perfectionist thinking isn't completely off-maybe each moment with Sofie can be a teachable one but maybe I shouldn't be hellbent on always being the teacher.