Very much untitled.

Note to self: It is always better to blog frequently. I say this because I have been on a wonderful high with Sofie and today was a terrible day filled with Mommy insecurity and NOW I choose to write.

Before I launch into a pity party monologue let me start things off with great news. Sofie is starting to talk a little bit! She is making sounds more often to request things. And she is doing great saying words. She has said "please" (peez), "ready" (reh-eee), "daddy" (dah-deee), "ups" (for 'all done')...just to name a few :) :) Sofie is also beginning to sleep in a 'big girl bed." It's a move we HAD to make after Sofie was found sleeping on top of the attached drawers like a little house cat. NOT safe.

So many changes and I feel I have multiple personality disorder. On the one hand I am over-the-moon excited about Sofie beginning to talk a little. I am proud of her for wanting just a sippy cup and not a bottle. I am amazed she is in a toddler bed now. All great things. And on the other hand, I am feeling rejected and a bit sad tonight because lately I feel like I am not enough for Sofie. She seems bored by me and is retreating a bit. Maybe it is as simple as a case of big transitions mixed with being under the weather (she has inherited my allergies) and not remotely close to an ASD thing. But it hurts double when she ignores me. I bet its just a toddler thing. But it still hurts a lot. Doesn't help that I am a bit exhausted this evening (did I mention the allergies?) and that always leads to guilty feelings about how I am not doing enough. We have so much to be grateful for and again it's Kristin Math. I feel double-y guilty for feeling sad and not appreciative of my good fortune. I mean I am appreciative but for some reason I feel like if I cave to feeling sad or overwhelmed one day (or a couple) I am spoiled...so in other words, I am saying I'm crazy.

I think I need to rest. I would like to say thank you to all of our family and friends for your support. I'm sorry I am behind on getting thank you notes out for the walkathon. It's been a crazy month. They will get out!