Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Clark Kent, Puzzles and Princes

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. The charity I advocate for, Autism Speaks, has a "Light it up Blue" campaign today to mark the occasion. Buildings across the globe will glow blue when the sky goes dark. It's funny because it once again reminds me of this super hero parallel I have in my head with Autism. It's like the bat signal and in many ways it is. No, the Joker isn't involved but "lighting it up blue" is letting us all know help is needed. It's easy to forget this when the light isn't shining. I never thought about Autism in the way I do now as a parent of a super hero.

Why the super hero obsession? Short answer: I can't help but see this story any other way. When I was little I loved the Superman movies (as corny as they were). I admittedly did not follow the comics but the image of an awkward Clark Kent trying to fit in our world has been swirling in my head a lot. I keep having these flashes of Clark Kent trying to be "normal" and his powers often getting in the way. As time wore on he was able to use these powers to help people. Often the audience sees that he wishes he could be like everyone else-he is aware life would be easier that way but he also knows that wouldn't be him.

I think of this when Sofie is doing a puzzle. She is completely capable doing a puzzle at the same level of skill of her peers. But those super powers often get in the way and distract her. Sofie will inspect each piece and run her little fingers along the edges of the pieces. She meticulously checks out the pattern of the wood grain. She doesn't like letting go of the special pieces. She notices the little dark spots along the grain and any small indention in the wood. She doesn't care too much about our simple little puzzle. You can tell she feels like the rest of us are missing the point. She will drop a piece on the floor or half-heartedly concede to our wishes by placing the piece slightly over the correct spot. Sofie's speech therapist and I noticed she has began trying to put the pieces in upside down. Is she trying to resist inspecting each piece so she can finish the puzzle? Only Sofie knows the answer to that question.

I just can't shake this idea of Sofie having exceptional 'powers.' And quite frankly who would want to let go of that idea? I think whatever mommy instincts I have was tuned into my super hero before the diagnosis. This summer I became overwhelmed by a bizarre need- a copy of 'The Little Prince.' I read the children's book in High School, in French (back when I could read in French). I took Sofie to the bookstore and made a b-line for the kid's section. And in little spurts I quickly read the brilliant little book. I kept thinking of my Sofie throughout the book but now I know why. The story of an other-worldly child that sees our planet differently and is filled with love and boundless appreciation for the little things. It's not a big stretch for my mind to wander to Sofie. The Little Princess? Nah, I like Super Bubu better if I had to pick (but that's her call).

After a long and winding post, let me summarize that I don't think Autism is the disorder so many see it as. The disorder part is the brain getting in the way of an individual being able to be calm in their own skin, not tortured by change in routines, and countless other ways ASD keeps millions of amazing people from being peacefully connected to this world. The discomfort and disconnect-that's the disorder. The ability to see things differently, the ability for the brain to process its environment in such a spectacular way that it makes us all boring people take notice-that's a super power. We don't need to teach kids to lose their super powers. We need to research new ways to help our super heroes cope with their unique gifts and embrace, and understand, the love we have to give them.

Happy World Autism Awareness Day :)

I am in a rambling mood and it is late. Good night everyone.

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